About

I lose myself when I’m writing. But I find myself too.

I am not nearly as serious as some of what I write would lead you to believe. I love sunny days when they immediately follow rainy ones. I love to laugh. I love to make people laugh. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I love to read out loud, but not in front of people. Don’t ask me how I’ll ever get up in front of an audience to read from some future book I publish; I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. If I walk pass a pet store, I have to go in, even if it makes me sad. I’m afraid to pick poppies because they are the California state flower and it is illegal. I hate elevators; they make me nauseous. I’m afraid of fireworks; not the professional ones, the ones people set off in the street. My sister is the most hilarious person I know. She also does the best Fat Bastard impression you’ll ever see, if you are lucky enough to. My sister means more to me than she’ll ever know. I love watching the hummingbirds outside my bedroom window as they feed from the flowers. In fact, I love watching all birds. Especially the white cranes which live in the Napa/Sonoma marshlands down the street from my parents’ house. I’m an excellent judge of character. I’m slightly narcoleptic. Moving to Newport Beach was the best decision I have ever made. But moving back home was the second best. I’m very intuitive, I get that from my mother; we always know what the other is thinking.

I have a fish named Snowy Joey. She is the THIRD one I’ve had, with the same name. I like to make collages. I blush furiously when I’m nervous or embarrassed. I’m incredibly ticklish. I love giving journals as gifts and writing little messages in them to make them more personal. Writing keeps me sane. Willow is my favorite movie (because Val Kilmer is so hot in it!) I think Ed Harris is a sexy older man. I love to visit art galleries and museums by myself. Sex and the City was a revolutionary show for women. I love to wear beanies. I can’t stand the taste of red meat. Music is necessary to life. I have a high school letterman jacket. I love driving over bridges and hate driving under overpasses. I hate getting in the shower, but love to take really long ones. I think MTV should no longer call themselves Music Television, since they hardly ever play music. I tend to talk a lot, and really fast, unless I’m with people I don’t know very well. I’m stubborn and very proud, I get that from my father. I say I am half Irish, half Brasilian when really I’m half Irish, a quarter Brasilian, and a quarter of European mutt; French, Scottish, English, Dutch, German, and Portuguese. And probably a few others. But not Italian. Which TOTALLY breaks my heart.

At now 27 years old, I am still trying to find myself. I am almost certain that at 43 I will still be looking. And at 57. And at 62. I think the idea of finding one’s self is ever-evolving. My wants and needs and desires change all the time. But one thing that never changes is my writing. I will always write. Not because I want to be a writer, but because I can’t help it. I didn’t choose to be a writer, I am a writer. That’s just me.

I’m also a reader — Melissa Ruby